Dick in a box

Published May 5, 2010 at 2:00 p.m.
Dr. Lovemonkey answers your questions
It was my birthday last month and when I received my gift from the guy I’ve been going out with for the past (almost) three months, I was shocked and embarrassed... 

NOT TAKING ORDERS

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I’m a 20-year-old female college student who has been going out with a guy for a year. Twice I have had occasion to go with him to his hometown to visit his family (he is from the Midwest). I have observed that the men order the women around and expect them to wait on them. It is an incredible culture shock for me and is certainly not a life that I could be part of. Needless to say, this worries me. What should I do?

--Karen

Dear Karen,
Have you not talked to your significant other about this behavior before you observed it in his family? You need to find out if he is also disturbed (if not appalled). There are numerous cultures where male domination is accepted and considered the norm. You need to talk (at length) with your guy about where he stands on this matter. Since he no longer lives with his family, perhaps the distance from them has allowed him time to see that there is something amiss with their behavior vis a vis gender relations. If he seems to defend his family’s perspective, you might want to demote him to “insignificant other” status.

UNHAPPY BIRTHDAY

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
It was my birthday last month and when I received my gift from the guy I’ve been going out with for the past (almost) three months, I was shocked and embarrassed. I opened up the box and found that virtually everything that he had given me had seriously sexual overtones: clothing, books, cards, even music. I don’t know what to do! I probably should have mentioned that we have not been sexually active in this relationship, so where is this coming from? I’m not entirely sure how to respond.

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